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Dating a narcissist is basically a series of endless conversations where you express an opinion and they immediately jump on it.(This is partially where the emotional abuse bit kicks in: in my case, my ex loved pulling apart my memories and challenging my view of reality, which is a technique called gaslighting.) Particularly if they believe they're intellectually superior, they get a kick out of dismantling your thoughts and showing off how smart they are. My ex once told me, "Of all the people I've ever taken classes with, yours is the only intellect I've ever respected." A truly spectacular compliment — and one I was bound, eventually, to fail to live up to. They think you might be perfect just like them, and want to impress you — but as it becomes clear you aren't, they become less and less interested.My ex was once diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by a psychologist, and refused to accept the diagnosis because the doctor was "clearly less intelligent than them." This is pretty standard behavior: anybody who's in a "higher" position than a narcissist is either there to be challenged ("how dare they think they're better than me? This is why so many people get into relationships with narcissists in the first place: they're absolutely charming and lovely ... Mine was the funniest, most exciting person in the room, and pursued me with great confidence (and a lot of drama, about which more later).They also take a lot of risks (because, hey, rules don't apply to them) and are fearless, which makes them great dates.But, for the most part, I consider myself someone who can talk about a variety of subjects, with a variety of people.I never realized how much “like attracts like” in that I am often surrounded by people who are similarly skilled at conversing.Their innate sense of superiority means that they regard boundaries as a challenge — Don't Speed On This Road, You Can't Go In There, This Is For Members Only — they get a lot of pleasure from manipulating their way past restrictions like that.
I have always considered myself pretty decent at conversation — I am sure there are some people who find me awkward, or just aren’t a fan of mine for whatever reason.And to be fair, my male friends say women are just as bad, if not worse, and I don’t doubt that for a second.