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05-May-2020 21:19

I recently ask a Black male friend why he’s dated every other ethnic group except his own, and he said that hasn’t found a ‘decent’ Black woman yet.He added that his White friends would not rule out dating us, but that he warned them they would have trouble handling a Black woman.

I often wonder if the ‘Black women are aggressive’ trope is hindering our progress on the dating scene, and it is at times demoralising because their interest rarely comes to fruition.The eccentric, open-minded and tolerant reputation of the British is, in general, accurate.However, I often read American blogs that advise Black women to go to Europe as it is more likely that they’ll find love with a slight irritation – dating non-Black men here is certainly no easier than anywhere else.Couple this with the growing Western trend of many Black men seeking to date and mate with women of any other ethnicity except their own and the general invisibility of Black women in the media (when we are represented, we’re aggressive, unfeminine and not the object of any attraction) and you’ll find that Black women in the UK are facing the same conundrum as our sisters across the Atlantic.

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I have read many articles from an American perspective about the growing number of mixed race relationships in the UK.

Having Black men reinforce these stereotypes makes dating harder for us. A conversation I had with my friend Ally last week summarises the confusion among my girlfriends: ‘‘I want a man I connect with on every level, and I don’t care about their colour, but I’m just having no luck, I feel like I’ve been single forever!